A date with a new born

Spending the first two weeks at home with the little new born baby can be a shock. Having just done that I wish somebody had warned me before. There should be red flashing signs given to mothers, and fathers, to ensure they know what is coming. Although it passes quickly, and can be hardly remembered, those first few weeks can have a tremendous effect on your (and the baby’s) wellbeing.

Nappies and crying are the most obvious, and talked about, side effects of having a baby. But there are many more, emotional and physical, issues that are rather enigmatic. The mystery around them makes you think you are the only woman dealing with them. You are either being punished or something has gone terribly wrong. The doubts convert into confusion and loneliness follows quickly.

It helps if you share your experiences with other mothers. Quickly you will find solutions for some of the problems, be assured they are only temporary, and, most importantly, you will not feel alone anymore. As for me…

Emotionally I had expected myself to change. Stop being me and become… a mother. Just like that. But it did not happen. I am still the same person, with the same hobbies and interests and the same light attitude to life. The difference is the little fellow I need to feed and care for. He is the change, not me. I am still to discover what being a mum means. I suppose I will learn, hopefully fast.

LOVE. I mentioned in the last blog about love at first sight. Two weeks into the life of my little one and I am still waiting for it to hit me. I mean, I like Him and would protect Him with all I’ve got, but LOVE? At first I was worried, but now I know it’s not just me. Lucky are mothers that experience LOVE in the first three weeks after childbirth?

Physical matters that affect your body, can greatly upset the emotional side. The list below is by no means exclusive.

1) Stiches. They hurt. When they swell after exercise, which is barely walking, they swell and hurt even more. There also might be an itch, like thrush, but a hundred times worse.

2) Control of your bladder. There is none. If you think you will have to pee in two minutes start marching to the toilet now. When your pee is ready it is too late.

3) Constipation. Let me just say that constipation after giving birth is like no other. Buy a spatula and dig in.

4) Haemorrhoids. They are not nice and you will get them if you are getting constipated.

5) Tiredness. Babies cry, it’s a fact, and you have to sort it out. Babies cannot tell day from night and they don’t really care. They cry whenever and this is the only way they communicate for the first few months. They cannot say “I love you” and “thanks for your efforts” so don’t expect it. You are there to respond to their basic needs and get nothing in return. However they will (hopefully) love you for it later.

6) Weakness of the body. Walking can be really exhausting and the insides of your thighs could be in pain. Long walks and exercise will also cause the swelling of the stiches, but we already mentioned this in two above.

7) Pregnancy belly. For about a week or two you still look heavily pregnant.

8) Breastfeeding. OMG! You are encouraged and it is good for the baby and yourself. But be prepared for a bit of getting used to it. The first three weeks are agonising for the nipples. Your breasts will also be engorged which can be painful. No wonder many of us give up before it gets better. (Try cabbage leaves, unassuming but great.) It takes about two/three weeks for your nipples to get used to the constant attention. After that there is no better feeling in the whole world! So if it hurts and you are thinking of giving up, stick with it, it will soon get better.

9) Did I miss anything?...

10) Recovery. It will come. In six weeks you will start feeling like a human being again. One day you'll wake up and know the worst is behind you. You are on the way to recovery.

And always REMEMBER you are not alone...