Childbirth Choices

Not going to work makes me think more about the forthcoming childbirth. To say that I am scared is an understatement. Not scared of what's coming, but scared of not knowing what's coming.

A few weeks ago my midwife asked me what type of childbirth I would like to have? My immediate response was: "Easy" and "Painless". Very unoriginal, I know, but those were the first words that came to mind. From the look on her face I realised she meant something different. But how was I supposed to know?

To avoid the pain I chose to have a caesarean. Happy with my answer, sure it met her expectations, I was told I do not qualify. Well, this confused me again. Then I was told my option, my ONLY option, is a natural childbirth (unless something goes wrong then the choice will be made for me). So I was given a choice under the false pretence only to find out there was no choice at all!

Then the midwife asked whether I would like to visit the local Birthing Centre. The purpose of the visit was to decide whether I liked it and wanted to give birth there. Again, I ask for the choices but they are limited. It is either the Birthing Centre or the hospital. So what are the differences? The Birthing Centre is led by the midwives. There are private rooms with private bathrooms, tv and birthing pools should you choose to have a water birth. They look more like hotel rooms than a hospital and there are no restricted visiting hours.

What about the hospital? First of all you stay on the ward. Neither private room nor bathroom, no TV, but for those interested, restricted visiting hours from 14.00 to 18.00. Let's not forget being kept in for days before the paperwork gets round the system to finally discharge you. Weighing the above, I just wonder, why would anyone decide to have a hospital birth? The choice is so obvious that the question seemed, yet again, rhetorical. Especially when I was told that, unless there were complications, I would be sent to the Birthing Centre anyway.

I bet Insurance has got something to do with it all.

Knowing that I am going to give birth naturally I decided to investigate what I need to know.

From conversations with other mothers one thing became certain - you quickly forget the pain. Which is excellent news, but what about the pain while it lasts? What is it like? There is no conclusive answer. The descriptions I manage to gather include: a strong punch in the stomach, extreme period pains, very bad stomach cramps. Close but not close enough. Is it because none of them remember... Or is it just not that bad?

There are off course pain killers to help tackle the problem: breathing techniques, gas and air, pethidine or diamorphine. I must admit, the first one, does not convince me at all. I think I will stick to painkillers, thank you very much. Then there is epidural but we are not allowed to talk about it in the Birthing Centre. Epidural can only be administered in the hospital. There is that false sense of choice again.

So the question is: are we better to make decisions as to where and how to give birth to our children or, considering our inexperience in the matter, is it better to leave the decision making to the experts? Are we really being "asked" to make our choice or are we merely meant to feel like we are?