Childbirth Uncovered

I read somewhere that childbirth is “The only date you’ll fall in love at first sight”.

Let me tell you about childbirth.

Unless you are very, very lucky and none of the below applies to you, your childbirth will be probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. It will shock you physically and mentally. It is not pretty, it is not easy and it is definitely not romantic. You just need to get through it.  

Getting to the hospital is a first hurdle. If your water’s broken, get on the phone with the hospital/Birthing Centre. They will probably not believe you. They will ask you to put a maternity pad between your legs and go for a walk. They will wait another hour to invite you in. Then they ask for the maternity pad and sniff it to confirm your water’s broken.

You will not be invited to stay in the Birthing Centre if your contractions are not the right strength and frequency. It does not matter whether it is your first time, or how nervous you are, you are on your own and you need to go back home. And for many hours this might be completely ok. Until the real deal starts.

When the pain starts the timing of the contractions is the first question asked when you phone the Birthing Centre. If your timings are not as recommended (2 minutes every 1 minute) it is hard to get anybody’s attention. You are encouraged to stay at home for as long as possible, until the contractions get to the right timing. It is a box ticking exercise for the midwives.

You, on the other hand, might feel completely different. The contractions might not do as they are told but the pain is real. It is NOT a period pain. It is thousands time stronger. It is like nothing else you have ever experienced. Imagine, you are pushing out a baby!

When you are at that stage just tell the Birthing Centre you are coming, whatever your contractions are doing. They have all the equipment to help you with the pain, try to use it. When the pain gets really strong swinging on the rope like a monkey is the last thing you want to do. At that stage all you want is the pain killers. However, if you are already in labour, it is too late for them as well….

Gas and air is not to be underestimated! It is delicious.

The midwives are invaluable in the whole experience. Although they can be cold to start with, they guide you through the process with confidence. But beware, they expect you to know what is happening and what you are supposed to be doing. It is tough for first time mums. Don’t be surprised if the midwifes do not entirely  believe what you tell them. They look for certain signs but if your labour is unusual, the signs might not be there. Giving birth is the most overwhelming and shocking experience but you need to help your midwife.

The pain and exhaustion can change us into monsters. You swear, you poop, there is blood. Hopefully your partner is understanding and not too sensitive. Compared with the progress humanity has made in other areas of today’s world, childbirth is prehistoric!

I am not sure how many women fall in love with their child at first sight. I didn’t. And I felt horrible. Now I realise it is ok but I just wish somebody had told me before. We all talk about men needing time to adjust and bond with the new born but of us women it is expected instantly.

Relax, although in your head you are failing the first motherly obligation, to love at first sight, it is only a low percentage of super women that do. The rest of us are just humans. Don’t let this bother you and don't let it be the beginning of post natal depression. It is perfectly normal, give yourself time to love your baby.